Olympic Coverage Drinking Games

Because you can make drinking games out of anything!

Take a drink if you see:

(added 2/13): Any mention or showing of Shaun White.

(added 2/13): Any shots of Mounties.

Any commercial talking about how “green” a corporation is.

Any commercial about the census (because they’re all so stupid and costing taxpayer money).

Any Apolo Ohno reference, mention, or showing.

Any playing of Olympic theme or John Williams version of it.

Any time NBC breaks away from sporting coverage to cover a human interest story.

Any Canadian snowscape portrayal. Canadian wildlife, e.g., whales, other marine wildlife, gets two sips, especially if they’re rolled up in sushi rice with wasabi and pickled ginger.

Any skier or snowboarder making a perfect sine wave down a hill.

Maple leaves (but not on a flag. And no, Toronto, I’m not going to say leafs).

Any reference to how important hockey is to Canada. Finish your drink if this is followed by a Canadian hockey fan shot, but only if they look sad. Also finish your drink if Don Cherry shows up, but only if he’s wearing something hideous.

Any Celine Dion mention (that’s also a whole drink, not just a sip; she probably rates finishing the bottle if she performs.)

Any mention of how Canada’s population lives mostly within 100 miles of the U.S.A. Also, any comment about how the rest of them are “hardy” or “resilient” or “cold.”

Any shots of blonde chicks. Except for Tanith Belbin, but that’s because Hubby likes her, so I’ll be taking a drink.

Opening ceremonies: how athletes are missing marching in the opening ceremonies because they’ve got to do something more important, like compete tomorrow. Or because they’re staying so far away. Aw, hell, you should take a drink in their honor because you know they’re not having much fun tonight even though we are!